CandyKlepto Squirrel

A squirrel in Finland steals Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs AT LEAST TWICE EACH DAY from the same store. That, if you're wondering, is enough to make the store manager refer to it as Kinder Squirrel.

"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," the manager, Irene Lindroos, told Reuters.

And he just tosses the wrappers on the floor. Dick.

Sea gulls love hamburgers, petty theft

Seagulls will effing steal you blind. And then they will run away, like the cowards they are.

Plus, they have poor eating habits.

Thievery across the animal kingdom

It's an established fact that animals are giant, thieving bastards. Just take a look at these guys. Dogs, cats, bears, birds, monkeys -- furry or feathered burglars, all.

Hoot crime.

How dare Mr. Mook treat Marlin Perkins that way. (That is Marlin Perkins, right?) Or the owl, for that matter.

Tell you what, chimp. In my country we call that ASSAULT.

Shoplifting dog steals a rawhide bone

This dude walked right into a suburban Salt Lake City grocery store (note: not a pet store) with a sense of purpose.

He walked right out again -- with a rawhide bone.

How did he know where the bones were kept? My guess: this Criminal Animal had already staked the place out. He wasn't leaving anything to chance.

Crafty. Calculated. Dick.

Shoplifting seagull

This dude has the audacity to go into the same convenience store every damn day and steal the same variety of chip.



I'm not going to pass judgement; I'm just going to remind us all of another famous Doritos-eating dick.

That Doritos-eating dick's name?

Saddam Hussein.